Saturday, October 23, 2021

Visiting a bird friend


This week I got to visit the exact bird that I named a poem after.

During Christmas week 2020, I lived in an elderly neighbours house caring for her 24/7. Being in a new house and alone can easily get quiet. You seek company and familiarity. Thankfully I was able to find this in the birds.

There were 3 specific birds that would visit the old ladys house everyday. And she would ask me to feed them raisins. I recently went back to her house to look after her for the afternoon. Her son informed me that only 1 of the birds still comes for visit. And that it did. It came back all chirping and ever so friendly. I found it comforting that the only bird that still visited, was the one I took a picture with for my publication. There is something about comfort in familiarity. I find it comforting to know this bird is still doing well. It may never know the impact it had on me


The Little Birds 

The days full of stillness, are almost too

It can be hard to see hope for better days, when still so consumed by grief,

Perhaps it’s okay if we don’t see it,

But can allow ourselves to feel.

It is a little sunny today,

And the little birds will come out.

Not unaware of our battles, simply facing different ones.

And really wanting to build a home for themselves,

Is what we need to do too,

Physically, but also in our heads.

For that is where we spend a lot of our time now,

It deserves a space free for blooming,

Space for all, even the weeds,

Everything has a place, a chance, to grow.


World Mental Health Day 2021


 

World Mental Health Day 2021 🌻

I talk about mental health everyday so there’s not much I can say that I haven’t already said. I will share a bit of writing though - a sort of letter to anyone who is currently struggling. 💛 (Swipe to see)

 

To anyone who may need to hear it;

- I believe in you

- I’m proud of you

- You’ve got this

- Your best is always enough

 

@youngmindsuk are encouraging people to wear yellow to show young people that they are not alone - you can donate to their charity here https://www.youngminds.org.uk/support-us/fundraising 💛 or in the link in my bio! #HelloYellow







My poem was featured on a podcast!

 


This time last year, for #mentalhealthawarenessmonth I shared my poem ‘A message to you’ on this account.

I wrote this poem in the notes of my phone when I was going through an episode of depression, and felt that my own words were all that I had left.

It was not a piece of writing that was ever intended to be read, and it was the first time I really shared anything that I had wrote.  But I’m so glad I did.

After sharing this poem on my account I really started committing to mental health activism, and finally believed in the power of my own voice.

A year later my poem is being featured on episode 10 of @unlatchedpodcast

From something that came from a place of such pain, it is so heartwarming to see it become something positive.

This is your reminder that your story matters. Your voice matters. You are powerful. And you can keep fighting 





The only opinion of yourself that matters is yours







The only opinion of yourself that matters, is yours💛🌻

When I was at school something that I struggled with a lot was social anxiety. A big part of this was being hyper conscious of what people thought of me. Did people like me? Did they think I was a nice person? Did I take up too much space? I tried to make myself invisible, I wished that I was, so that I would be free of other peoples perceptions of me.

I like to think of myself as a positive person. But recently, too many times I’ve found myself comparing myself to people, being afraid of what they think of me, etc etc.

So here is a reminder to myself and anyone reading this, that your opinion of yourself, is the only one that matters. Fuck what other people think. Your relationship with yourself should be the most important one, the one you give the most love to.

It does not matter if you are liked by people, it matters if you are liked by yourself. Stop sacrificing your energy for other people. You and only you deserve your greatest attention. The only opinion of yourself that matters is yours, don’t forget it


Monday, March 29, 2021

2021, 3 months in and where I'm at

 


Hi there! So this will be a bit of a reflection post, partly for my own sake too, but feel free to read at your own ease. Looking back at where I was in January, as a new year came in, I wasn’t doing great, but I had a lot of hope. I also recognised that I shouldn’t put too much pressure on the whole ‘new year, new me’ element that comes with January. But I think subconsciously I still did. I wanted change to suddenly happened, I wanted it to.

 

I started off January quite positive, I was enjoying my job and trying my best with uni. But things quickly went downhill for me. With a breakup setting me back (as is normal when that happens), and my mental health declining, it was becoming clear that things had not changed magically, as I had so hoped for them to.

 

I have had a lot of low points with my mental health in the last years, but I’d say this year I hit one off the lowest. I got to the point where every small and insignificant task, was like the hardest thing to achieve. Getting out of bed, getting through the day without experiencing extremely dark thoughts, was simply not achievable.

 

And writing this in March, I can’t say I’ve come leaps and bounds. But I can say that I’m still here, and I can say that I’m still fighting. A lot of people will never realise, and I don’t wish them ill will because of it, just how debilitating it can be to live with mental illness. When the mental health awareness days quieten and the lifelines stop being shared, we are still here. We are still living our harsh reality everyday.

 

I found it hard to explain to people why I was struggling so much. I was embarrassed that I couldn’t do basic things. But it’s not my fault, it never was my fault. I was doing my best, and that is all I could do.

 

I reached a point in the last month or so, that some decisions needed to be made. I wasn’t getting better, and I was scared of how much control my struggles had over me. I had to take some time off sick from work (I still am) and get my assignments deferred for a while so that I’d have a chance to pick myself up.

 

For now, I am trying my best. I am trying to take each day as it comes, live for the little things, and remind myself that it is okay to struggle. It is okay to take things at your own pace. Things will work out, and I know that one day I’ll look back at this period and be proud of myself for not giving up.

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Valentines Day

 


With Valentine’s Day tomorrow, I thought a post reaffirming that it’s okay if you aren’t looking forward to it would be helpful. So whether you’re single, spending Valentine’s alone, or just need a bit of extra love, this post is for you.

 

You may be flooded with cute couples posts tomorrow, and whether you are taking part in that or not, that’s okay.

 

What I want to say is that if you feel like your worth is defined by your partner, I understand. I’ve felt that too, but it’s not true. You, by yourself, are a powerful force. You are whatever you wish to be, and more.

 

Self love reminders

- You are more than your relationship status

- You are so deserving of love

- It’s okay to put your happiness first


Valentines day has always been a special day to me, as it's my mums birthday. This year it means a little more to me, as I'm relearning how to love myself, something that is so important. 

Be kind to yourself this Valentines day, and everyday after that

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

2021 Goals: My first post of this year!




So it’s been a year, but we made it through! To hopefully bigger and brighter things 

I want to firstly put a reminder here that if your only goal for the year is to make it through, that is totally valid. We are living through crazy times right now and looking after ourselves should be our main priority. 

I did find myself last year becoming a bit lost in terms of direction, so I wanted to make some goals for myself to keep myself on track! I’d love to hear yours so feel free to comment! I’ve been slightly addicted to YouTube Vids of people talking about their goals, I just find it so motivating! 


Some of my goals for 2021;

  • To prioritise Uni work
  • Maybe work out a Blogging Schedule 
  • Put more time into my love for writing 
  • Do more volunteering 


  • Learn some yoga and meditation 
  • Journal more, write more letters 
  • Learn some more sign language
  • Go for more walks 
  • Visit more museums, when possible! 
And finally to be kind always and prioritise myself.
It can be easy to lose yourself in trying to always be there for people, but remember that you are important too, and you can’t be everyone for everybody.

Whatever your goals are for this year, i wish you all of the success and happiness

Visiting a bird friend

This week I got to visit the exact bird that I named a poem after. During Christmas week 2020, I lived in an elderly neighbours house cari...